“I am going to spend every last penny of my Louis Vuitton purse fund on gifts for you and your sister. I will put the Christmas tree up by myself as everyone runs for the hills every year when I pull out the boxes and magically reappears when it is all done. I will wrap all the presents and buy all the stocking stuffers even though you busted Santa years ago.
On Christmas morning, I will make cinnamon rolls while you open your gifts. After you are done, I will smash all the boxes and dig the dog out from the paper before I haul it to the recycling bin. I will then start making the monstrous meal you will scarf down without even a “Thank you”. I will clean up the mountain of dishes while you are napping after your long morning.
After we eat, I will call my mother and receive a holiday guilt trip for not being with her for the holidays. Shortly thereafter, your father will call to tell me the child support check is no good because he overspent on Christmas gifts.
About 10pm, I will crawl exhausted on my knees to bed and give thanks to Jesus that he only celebrates one birthday a year.”
To which my son replied, “At least you’ll have fun watching us have a good time!”
What are your plans?