Category Archives: The Queen Mother

The Queen Mother Gets a Medic Alert Device

The Queen Mother has resisted our attempts over the years to secure a medic alert device in her home. At almost 81, she is still very active and independent but she lives alone and my sister and I worry about her. So sue us. We were raised by a most excellent guilt-wielding non-Jewish Jewish mother. It’s what we do.

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Weapon of Choice: Chicken Salad

I decided to give my mom a call yesterday to see how she was doing.  The last time I talked to her she was attempting to install a printer to her new computer and I wanted to check on her progress.  A phone call to Mom is like a box of chocolates:  you never know what kind of weirdness or guilt trip you are about to go on.

Me:  “Hi, Mom! How are you?”

Mother:  “I’m fine. I’m finally out of the woods.”

Me:  “What? Have you been sick?”

Mother:  “You could say that. I almost died from food poisoning!”

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So My Mother Called…Part 1

My mother called me today. I noticed the call was coming from her cell phone at 4:00 pm and the hair immediately went up on my neck. Something must be wrong for her to call me before her free minutes start at 7:00 pm.

She is an elderly person on a limited income, as she is wont to tell me, and she does not throw her Social Security away for nothing.

I usually keep up with Mom via email but her computer has been down for about a month now. I encouraged her to call for tech help but I think she has been trying to guilt the computer into working instead (see my previous post about her super-guilting powers.)

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My Mother, The Queen of Guilt

My darling mother is as picture perfect as you can imagine: high school beauty queen who married her childhood sweetheart, stayed at home raising kids and volunteering, then later in life went back to school to become a teacher and deal with everyone else’s children. A virtual saint!
But, by God, the woman can wield the guilt like nobody’s business! Here is an example of one of our exchanges…